Suffering is Like Friendship!
by Paradise2000
Summary: Tea chases after Yami! Tea never gives up! Read on to find out more. Better summary inside. I hope somebody likes it.


**Suffering is Like Friendship!** written by Paradise2000

Chapters: One

Sort: Hurt, Romance, Humour, Drama

A\N: Die, die, die, die, Tea! (Whacks Tea with a giant mallet hammer – Tea is immediately flattened). Flame if you want, bash if you want, criticise if you want, give nice review if you want. Hope you enjoy! (Tea-bashing is fab) Die, Tea!

Summary: No plot at all! Another babble. Life for Tea isn't a walk in the park. Tea is chasing Yami. Let's see how far the gormless slut gets. There'll be plenty of painful heavy Tea-bashing in here. Prequel to 'The Power of Rejection'. Tea-bashing rules!

* * *

When Yami came out of Domino High School, the school bell ringing, Tea Gardner, the school slut, had deliberately changed into her tightest baby pink sleeveless PVC dress, with the hem only just managing to cover her slaggy knickers, and a very low, cleavage revealing neckline. It was decorated with an incredibly tight, suffocating-looking thick black PVC belt with the fastenings at the back, and no buckle, as well as a pair of black stiletto heels. She was also wearing baby pink and baby blue bangles on her arms. Her ugly red lipstick glowed like a beacon. Unattractively. As Yami came along – and walked towards her (to get past her as she was in the direction of the school gate. He had to walk past her.) – Tea squealed (Yami not noticing), the pupils of her eyes changing to disgusting giant baby pink hearts, and looked at Yami so adoringly that she literally melted. She was still alive though, and screamed at the top of her voice, hoping Yami would hear her. "YAAAMMMIII!" Yami looked around thinking he heard a voice, recognised it, and thought, _It's only that stupid moron Tea! I absolutely hate Tea! _and carried on. He looked down to see a pile of ooze that resembled Tea. _It was Tea! _He immediately and deliberately stepped in it, rubbing his foot into the ooze (she got what she deserved!). Tea screamed in agony. _Her Yami-kins had betrayed her. _"Die, slut," Yami hissed, and then walked on. Tea whimpered in agony. Oh my God, what was she going to do? To her horror, the janitor came along with a spade. Tea screamed in terror. "Dear me, the kids left a melted candle here. So unhygienic!" He scraped Tea up, Tea grating her teeth in pain, and screamed at him, "I'm not a melted candle, you jerk. Let go of me!" The janitor heard a voice yelling, but didn't know where it was coming from. It couldn't be the ooze! Scraping Tea on top of a dustbin bag (yuck) in the dumpster, he got out a set of keys. "I can't have the pesky crows and magpies after the rubbish! I wonder where that voice was coming from?" _Please no,_ Tea thought, _he can't lock me in here with a set of keys._ The janitor searched for the key._ He couldn't!_ "I WANT MY YAMI!" Tea shrieked. "Aha!" The janitor located the key, and slammed the lid of the dumpster down (Tea giving a yell of fright), hard, and locked the dumpster. The padlock was secure. As he walked away, he didn't hear a BANG! and a yelp of pain as Tea enlarged and changed back to her human form. She was no longer ooze. "OW!" Tea could hardly move in the dumpster, now she had changed back into her original size. Tea could hardly breathe. _IT HURT! _Tea squirmed to get out. Fortunately the lock was dodgy. Very dodgy. It clicked open, and Tea was so eager in pushing against the lid of the dumpster to get out, that she flew out, and fell to the ground heavily. "OW!" She was covered in painful bruises and scrapes, which really hurt. _My Yami would never betray me!_ That was her thought, prior to what she thought when Yami had stepped in her. A big pile of ooze. _My Yami would never betray me!_ She just had to trust him. Yami would never truly betray her. She was now completely and utterly against what she had thought when Yami had stepped in her. He loved her. _Yami loves ME! _Tea thought miserably as she ran forward towards the school gate. _That stupid janitor. _As she entered into the town (and Joey, Tristan and Bakura who were walking in there for something to do giving her weird looks as she walked past them) unhappily, she saw a snake charmer, although she didn't realise that he had a snake (she was too thick). It was in the basket. She didn't realise that the charming was done with a snake. She didn't even know how it could be done. _I've got to find a way to charm Yami!_ Tea thought desperately, and went towards the snake charmer, her bottom waggling in her stiletto heels. Unattractively. People sniggered as she walked past, tottering in her absolutely ridiculous heels. She looked like a slut. An ugly one! _Maybe then Yami will go out with me._ "A cent for a snake-charming session, missie?" an Egyptian man asked Tea. He was quite old, but he looked like he knew his stuff. Definitely how to charm a snake. Tea growled at him, but handed a cent over. She needed the help. _A cent for this rubbish? _This had better be worth it. Or she'd ask for her money back. "Just get on with it, mister!" The Egyptian man nodded, and started to play a flute. The tune was so strange. Suddenly a huge Burmese python came out of the basket, hissing, and slithered towards Tea, its hiss unfriendly. Tea squealed, and clapped her hands in delight. The man only smirked. Tea beamed at the snake. "Hello, mister snakey! You look cuddly! Are you going to help me charm Yami? Will you help me to get him to believe in the power of friendship?" The snake hissed savagely, whilst Tea cooed at it, her tiny brain failing to process that she was in danger, all she could think about was friendship, and how she should have yelled with joy when she was hurt before, because suffering was like friendship! She shouldn't have screamed in pain when she got hurt. She should have screamed in joy! (She's not sadomachistic. She enjoys pain.) Getting hurt was like friendship! Oh, goodie! Oh, friendship was lovely! As the tune played, a strange soothing melody, to both Tea and the snake, although it kept on slithering towards her, Tea felt happy. _Maybe I can use music to charm Yami! Yami is going to be my boyfriend! All mine!_ (Yeah, you wish!) _No-one else's! I shall enjoy pain because it is like my friendship! Pain is fun, friendship is fun! FRIENDSHIP RULES! Hey! Hello, snakey! _The snake wound its coils around Tea, hissing angrily, its tongue flickering as it sniffed its prey, its coils tightened around the stupid Tea. As Tea went purple, practically the colour of the Dark Magician from her lack of breath or oxygen, as the snake squeezed tighter, she squealed, foolishly using more of her air supply, and hugged it. "Yay!...Eck! You give the best cuddles, snakey! I love you! Suffocating is like friendship! I love suffocating! Squeeze harder! I need cuddles!" "More cuddles!" Tea roared, as the snake squeezed tighter. It suddenly let go, as it realised with dismay, that although its prey was losing oxygen, it wasn't dying. It wasn't even stopping breathing! The snake let go completely, hissing with anger, robbed of its badly wanted food, and the man smirked as Tea got up, still slightly purple from the lack of oxygen during the snake charming. "Yay! Thank you so much! I love you! I love friendship! FRIENDSHIP! I LOVE YAMI!" She tottered off towards the gaming machines in the arcade in the mall. Yami would probably be there. _She had to find Yami! _She suddenly tripped, due to her stiletto heels, and fell, with a stupid scream, knocking herself out. She wasn't even jolted back to her senses when a dumper truck, filled with rubbish, stopped by her unconscious body. "Hey, look, Alf, it's a sleeping manikin! A slutty one! Look!" Bundling Tea onto the top of the dumper truck, because there was no room in the rubbish depot, and really smelly, it drove off. They hadn't strapped her on with anything though, not even a rope, and so she fell off within two minutes, bouncing into someone's back garden. She did still not come around. Stupid Tea. Two people came outside, into the back garden where Tea had landed, which was set up for a party. They were a man and a child. They were shocked to see Tea. "Daddy!" "Yes, kid?" "A piñata!" "Oh, hey, you're right! It looks almost like a living person! Like it's sleeping! Let's get our piñata ready! We can use it later this afternoon!"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Tea still hadn't come around, and the piñata game was about to begin. Covered in colourful wrapping paper and sellotape completely, and hung from a tree by a rope, the thick girl made a perfect piñata. She got what she deserved. It was only an hour after she had been knocked out. The man came up. Tea, covered in the wrapping paper completely, remained oblivious, like a trussed up chicken (albeit knocked out). She had no idea what was about to happen. The children cheered. They wanted candy. "Okay, kids, let's begin!" The children cheered again. "Let's hit the piñata! Let's get candy!" Everyone who wanted to play stepped forward. Those who were playing started whacking Tea with baseball bats, shouting for candy. "CANDY!" Tea suddenly came around. She started laughing hysterically, the beating she was getting felt like she was being tickled. She loved pain! Being beaten up was like friendship. It felt so invigorating to be pounded. Especially when you came round to it from being knocked out. Only someone as thick as Tea would enjoy being beaten up. "HA HA HA HA! Yay! Being beaten up is like friendship! It's similar to the pounding you get in your heart when you're with Yami! I'm in love with Yami! I wuv Yami! I wuv Yami!" "Hey, cool!" the man took a whack at the piñata himself, trying to make it burst, so the children could get the candy, Tea only giggling even harder, unaware of the injuries she was sustaining, and how serious they were, especially the bruises. He took another whack. "It even has sound effects! Listen! It's a speaking piñata!" Suddenly Tea started bleeding, the blood coming through the wrapping paper, and staining it. The children were confused. "Hey, candy isn't red liquid! It's solid!" "Unless it was filled with Ribena!" "Stupid, you can't fill a piñata with Ribena." "Yes you can!" Only the man realised. He gawped in horror. Tea's giggling form swung from the tree. "Oh shucks, I didn't realise it was a real person! What am I going to do? Oh, no! Call an ambulance, one of you! (He was speaking to an adult at the party. There was adults there. There was just a few adults at the party.) Before I let the person bleed to death! Hurry! I've got to do something!"

* * *

As the ambulance drew up, Tea, who was half demented already (the beating up hadn't helped), had been so over excited about meeting Yami and about the beating up that she had received that she had to be literally shoved in in a straitjacket, still bleeding, laughing madly. By this time the wrapping paper had been removed from her. She had actually been suffocating underneath it before. Even though she had been giggling too hard to realise it. "Nee naa! Nee naa! Nee naa! Nee naa! Sexy male doctors! Sexy Yami! Ha ha ha ha! I'm in love with Yami! Yay! Nee naa! Drive faster! I want to seduce every male doctor in the hospital! Go Yami! Watch out, doctors!"

* * *

In Domino Hospital, Tea lay in bed, covered in bandages. No limbs were broken. She had also had arnica put on her bruises, and she had been given drugs to help rid of the pain. Even though she loved pain! She had tried to seduce the male doctor, as promised, who had seen her, but he had been having none of it. He hadn't liked it when she'd tried to lap-dance for him, either. He hated having her bottom in his face. Tea pouted as she remembered that the male doctor had called her a stupid little kid. She stopped though, when a nurse approached her with a jar of pills. She looked at them happily, the woman looking suspicious. "Are any of those love pills? For intoxicating romance? Not even the pink ones?" The woman shook her head in sheer amazement and frustration as to how anyone could be so absolutely gormless – even the likes of Tea. "No, they're to help your body get out of shock after you lost quite a lot of blood." Tea shook her head stupidly. "Never mind!" She pulled a vibrator out of her pocket, held it to her mouth in lieu of a microphone (fortunately not turning it on), and grinned insanely at the nurse. "I'll sing instead! I'll sing an extremely moving, deeply heartfelt song of love for Yami! One of the old romance songs should do! It'll be even better than playing Duel Monsters!" The nurse groaned and covered her ears. As all the glass in every one of Domino Hospital's windows shattered due to Tea's awful singing (it was lucky the hospital had insurance), even the doctors outside the ward Tea was on winced and shook their heads.

"But now there's nowhere to hide,

Since you pushed my love aside,

I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you,

Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you!"

Tea couldn't get any more annoying! Surely. It couldn't be any worse! Even for Tea! Her singing was so awful! As Tea bawled out the final line, the world carried on – no-one listening out of choice to the delirious, friendship-babbling, naturally mad slut inside the hospital. Tea's battle for Yami had just begun! Tea was coming to town! Tea was going to get herself Yami!

The End

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A\N: All done. Hope you enjoyed. Tea-bashing rules! I absolutely laughed my head off after I locked Tea in a dumpster!


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